How I Feel About Christ
Well, when I was 16, I spent a lot of time thinking about how little I did to fix the egregious problems in the world. If I could have helped someone and I didn't, I was guilty for everything bad that happened to them. I was also scared of demons. What was to prevent me from being possessed by one? So I was terrified. I was racked with torment both of all the bad I had not prevented and the demons around me. Sleep was the only hope but getting to sleep was the biggest dread. I wished I had ever been born. There was not a way I could experience what I was experiencing and God could have been ok with putting me on the earth knowing that I was going to go through that. It is hard to communicate quite how bad it was. I felt like I should have been physically dead from the pain that was going through my body every day.
Then one day I met Christ.
He told me I was loved.
He told me I was beautiful and that I was wanted. He told me He would take all the things I hadn't done and wouldn't do and crush them into oblivion. He would take care of those people and what had happened to them. And He could because He had suffered for it.
And I was precious and I was pure and I was clean. I was clean. I was clean.
And as for the demons, He put His blood around me, I felt a very thick, real cloud of love around me that the fear couldn't get through. The fear stayed on the outside of that love. It could not get through. And I felt distinctly that it was the atonement of Jesus Christ that was around me. It was him covering me through his power that he gained through that event.
And I would climb into bed at night and feel so so loved.
And there were still a lot of struggles ahead.
Christ lives. Christ atoned for what I did not do, he atoned for my grumpiness and pride. He atoned for my mistakes. He atoned for my weaknesses. And he also felt all of my suffering, all of weakness, all of my infirmity. He also felt that mental, spiritual pain that consumed the chance for positive meaning in life. And in some way that I don't know the workings of, he can take that and make it so life can be meaningful and life can be, not just fair, but way more than fair. He made up for the darkness and the evil.
I think Christ is my Savior. I think Christ is the best man who ever lived. I think Christ is kind and good and compassionate. I think Christ is all powerful. I think Christ is all loving. I think Christ is how I am alive, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And I think Christ is just the kindest person who ever lived and the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.
Then one day I met Christ.
He told me I was loved.
He told me I was beautiful and that I was wanted. He told me He would take all the things I hadn't done and wouldn't do and crush them into oblivion. He would take care of those people and what had happened to them. And He could because He had suffered for it.
And I was precious and I was pure and I was clean. I was clean. I was clean.
And as for the demons, He put His blood around me, I felt a very thick, real cloud of love around me that the fear couldn't get through. The fear stayed on the outside of that love. It could not get through. And I felt distinctly that it was the atonement of Jesus Christ that was around me. It was him covering me through his power that he gained through that event.
And I would climb into bed at night and feel so so loved.
And there were still a lot of struggles ahead.
Christ lives. Christ atoned for what I did not do, he atoned for my grumpiness and pride. He atoned for my mistakes. He atoned for my weaknesses. And he also felt all of my suffering, all of weakness, all of my infirmity. He also felt that mental, spiritual pain that consumed the chance for positive meaning in life. And in some way that I don't know the workings of, he can take that and make it so life can be meaningful and life can be, not just fair, but way more than fair. He made up for the darkness and the evil.
I think Christ is my Savior. I think Christ is the best man who ever lived. I think Christ is kind and good and compassionate. I think Christ is all powerful. I think Christ is all loving. I think Christ is how I am alive, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And I think Christ is just the kindest person who ever lived and the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.
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